Divorce and Liberation

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by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 742

There is a growing population of happy singles who have come out of a marriage because divorce felt like the right thing to do to get them back on the track of life again. And no, they are not all battered Asian women, or middle aged career sharks, or inveterate skirt chasers. Perfectly ‘normal’ people opt for divorce too, and many claim that the experience has been liberating for them.

When a Divorce is Welcome

A marriage is a voluntary contract between two people who are not biologically related, and wish to live together as one legal entity under the same roof. That may sound awfully like a job contract, but marriage is an agreement after all. Well, if the two people concerned are not willing to live together anymore and agree only on that point, it is time they parted ways. Below are some of the situations where divorce comes as bliss.

Forced or Unknown Marriages – Forced marriages are legally punishable offences, but only if the victim has a voice. In some communities, the couple who are getting married, especially the women, do not have a say in the matter. It is decided as an agreement between families, and then they are trapped in a situation that can hardly be called a marriage in the first place. If they get a chance to break out of this terrible existence, and divorce is offering a ray of hope, they should by all means grasp the chance. Arranged marriages, by the way, are not forced marriages. In fact, in some communities that practice this, the boy and girl are allowed to meet each other, interact, or even cohabit for some time before getting married. In some cases, however, the marriage is between two strangers who do not know each other at all. Therefore, even if they are not oppressed as in forced marriages, they may turn out to be totally incompatible with each other. Since there was no question of mutual choice, a divorce would be a liberating experience for them too.

Physical and Emotional Abuse –It is a matter of great shame but the rate of abuse in marriage (both physical and mental) has gone up in the UK between 2001 and the present. The average abuser is a male in his late thirties to late forties. The trends show that the chances of child abuse are also high in such households. In the case of emotional abuse, the equation is not so simple. There is still too little awareness about emotional abuse, and the victims are often not taken seriously enough or misjudged. The instances of blackmail and stalking have also gone up, and the internet has facilitated this further. The victims should try to get out of the situation as fast as they can, and take the children with them.

Infidelity – There are some marriages that have been kept up as a facade. Sometimes a spouse may be unwilling to give up on the marriage for social, lifestyle and economical reasons, but would not want to give up on an extramarital affair either. Such a situation is almost as good as polygamy, and the worst affected are the children involved through no fault of theirs. In such instances, a divorce is not only a relief but also the right thing to do.

Incompatibility – The couple may look happy, respectable and peaceful to the world, but they may not get along well. Sometimes, people are plain unlucky and two good human beings, with no vices, no malice and every good intention, are just not made for each other. The cases of incompatibility are rising, and the burgeoning numbers of no faults amicable divorces, where the partners have actually consented on every move, are becoming greatly popular. With the age of marriage pushing back into the late thirties for both men and women, divorce would be common between two people who have already set up their individual lives in a certain way.

The Death of Love – Just like people can fall in love, they can fall out of it to. A dead and loveless marriage, held on just for the sake of it, is no marriage at all. In fact, the partners would now be free to try out better relations, and affirm their faith in the concept of love. Love and respect are the greatest factors that bind a marriage, and without them, marriage is meaningless.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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