Is the Fear of Divorce a Legitimate Reason Not to Get Married?

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Is the Fear of Divorce a Legitimate Reason Not to Get Married?

by: jameswalsh
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Word Count: 685

So intense is the divorce-wrought distress that many people have, of late, decided to remain unmarried, to avoid this pain. Unmarried people in the UK are increasing in number. In the decade ending 2006, the number of unmarried couples had increased by almost 65% and it is expected that by 2014, cohabiting women, aged below 40, will outnumber their married counterparts.

However, these determined singles are the poorer for it, for marriage is a unique relationship that entails many benefits. No other relationship is as advantageous to an individual.

Benefits of Marriage

‘Marriage’ is a beautiful phase in life. Plentiful of research links marriage to longer life and to lesser suicide rates. Men and women, both benefit from a marriage. Women enjoy the companionship and financial benefits that accompany a marriage, while men benefit by being relieved of domestic responsibilities. They thus find it easier to concentrate on their career enhancement. Marriage also elevates the happiness levels of both the spouses and this subsequently escalates their productivity. Married people thus earn more and accumulate more wealth.

One report went as far to suggest that married people benefit society; for they are less prone to substance abuse and less inclined to deviate to a life of crime. Children too reap the benefits of being born in a family, where both the parents are married. Biological parents do a better job of child upbringing. Moreover, domestic violence and abuse are generally absent. With lesser cases of crime, substance abuse and foster care, the ordinary person would be paying lesser taxes.

Marriage results in so many benefits and those who have never married, are unaware of the joy entailed by this relationship. Those who have married and divorced know both the aspects of matrimony – the joy and sorrow of it. In spite of the deep-rooted pain of divorce, more than 80% of the separated spouses, retie the knot, for the joy of marital life surpasses all.

Can Cohabitation Ever be the Right Answer?

Cohabitation is selected as an alternative to marriage to avoid the pain of divorce; but, by cohabitating, people suffer more pain than a divorce can ever bring upon. Cohabitation has more risks than rewards. Unlike married people, cohabiting couples are not motivated to invest in the relationship, given its temporary nature.

The very nature of the relationship is fraught with many ills. People, who live together (without getting married), are not likely to help one another in times of need. They neither provide for each other the requisite emotional or financial support, nor do they care for one another during illness. Cohabiting people are also said to suffer more domestic and emotional violence perpetuated by their partner, compared to people who are in a marital relationship.

Even children born outside wedlock suffer the consequences. Cohabitation damages children. Nothing can be more unsafe for a child than the mother cohabiting with her boyfriend. 69% of the boyfriends have abused the children of their girlfriends and 59% of the times, the mother was a witness to the abuse. When the relationship terminates, children suffer emotionally and economically; in short, they suffer intensely.

Breaking up Co-habitation Relationship - As Painful As Divorce

People cohabit to avoid divorce, but cohabitation relationships have a very short life. When these relationships eventually break up, the separation is as painful as a divorce for both the separating partners and their children. Even cohabiting partners, who separate, fight over non-payment of bills, house rents, property sharing and similar such financial issues.

Women turn older, and at the end of the cohabitation tenure, they eventually find that they have crossed the marriageable age. Even if they do marry late, their chances of a divorce are much higher. After cohabiting, they usually believe less in the institution of marriage.

Cohabiting couples are not only suffering all the ills associated with their mode of living, they are also missing out on the benefits entailed by a marriage. Moreover, they are not even spared the pain of disunion, when they eventually break up. A viable option for avoiding a divorce is working at the betterment of marriage rather than cohabiting.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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