Most Common Causes of Divorce

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by: jameswalsh
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Divorce laws have come to encompass all possible reasons for a marital split. The reasons for divorce can range from financial, psychological to emotional and cognitive.

Reasons: Research states that the reasons for divorce are never quite the same. The superficial trivia may alter but the basic causes remain similar. It reflects the adage that ‘the more things change, the more they remain the same’. The social winds of change have not succeeded in altering the primate nature of human being.

Infidelity: Research suggests that more than 54% of all divorces occur due to infidelity. Infidelity can be viewed on a scale from trivial to extreme. Kissing and hugging can also be infidelity. An extreme form of infidelity can be seen as having a romantic intimate relationship with a third party outside the confines of the marriage institution. Thus, infidelity is amoral and unethical. Infidelity can break up a marriage as it shatters the concepts of trust, respect and love between spouses. The betrayed spouse feels miserable, angry and hurt. There is a loss of self-esteem as the betrayed spouse starts to blame self for the infidelity.

On the other hand, infidelity can be stopped if the spouse engaging in such behaviour feels guilty. But, if the spouse does not feel remorseful, it can destroy family life. It can hurt and distance children from the parent. It can even cause humiliation in front of extended family and close friends. Developmental psychologists argue that infidelity simply means that the individual is exercising the ego constituent of personality. Ego influences individual perception to shun responsibilities and satiate personal desires. Infidelity also stems from a lack of true understanding about marriage and its various aspects. People who have suffered at the hands of infidelity find it extremely difficult to trust anyone. These people find it hard to invest in a long-term relationship. Infidelity destroys not only emotional capacity but also erodes self-esteem, value and cognitive ability.

It can give rise to embittered vindictive spouses. Such people can fall prey to cognitive disorders of depression, schizophrenia and anti-social disorders. They may resort to crime and vandalism just to seek revenge.

Abuse: There are basically two forms of abuse. The first one of physical abuse is violence against a spouse. This means hitting or beating the spouse just for pleasure. Developmental psychologists state that physical abuse stems from a skewed perception. More than 75% of married women are physically abused. This can take the form of punching or kicking, pushing, beating with blunt instruments and mutilation. Physical abuse occurs due to a skewed perception on part of the abuser. Physical abuse is a disease of the mind and it can be treated in the initial stages. However, no person has the moral right to hurt another human being causing them harm. It is best to make a plan of leaving and walk out of the abusive marriage.

Forms of Physical Abuse

Beating and pushing

Beating in private parts

Controlling all the activities and movements of spouse

Restricting contact with friends, relatives and family

Mutilation

Kicking in stomach

The other form of abuse is subtle and dangerous. Emotional abuse is, unlike physical abuse, attacking the psyche and emotional being of the individual. The abuse is not physical but emotional. It starts off as possessive love and then slowly changes to controlling sadistic behaviour. It is very difficult to control emotional abuse. But this kind of abuse is usually invisible. According to social psychologists, it exists in more than 83% of marriages. Many spouses do not know that they are being emotionally abused. But they do feel frightened, depressed and at a loss to do their own activities. Emotional abuse rips individual self-esteem. It makes them doubt their own sanity and cognitive ability to live life alone.

The Family Solicitors of London states that emotional abuse can take many forms of:

Family Strains: The abuser controls every movement of the victim. The victim is traumatized into thinking that his or her friends and family are causing the abuse. The victim thinks that his or her safety is guaranteed if families and friends are kept far away. Usually, family strains cause more than 11% of divorces.

Sharing Housework: Abusers take pleasure in defining rigid gender roles and expect them to be followed. When spouses expect the opposite that house chores, duties and errands should be shared, problems of an abusive nature arise.

Usually people divorce after retirement. They simply lose touch with each other. They don’t know how to communicate and have fun together. They feel that the other partner is hampering their lifestyle. Another reason could be that they have their own ambitions and desires. These are not shared by the spouse. Thus, lack of communication in midlife forces couples towards divorce.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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